Fading Away

Oh wow well so much for every couple of weeks, and as you can imagine my awesome workout plan has now shattered to pieces. Though I will explain why this has come to be in a later paragraph. I'd like to talk a little about some things that have occupied my mind of recent. Basically all my feelings wrapped up in a little present and given to those of you who read this. In the past almost 2 years that I have been writing this blog, I have gone off on several aspects on my life. Some completely pointless, others about things that are important. Today I would like to go over something important. I don't do this opening up thing very often, but I will attempt it today.

So starting off I've been having some really odd dreams for the past 2 weeks. For me I typically have nightmares every single night. For some reason though I'm just having really odd dreams. I really do not want to go off on a tangent with specifics, but the main character tends to be someone I'm familiar with and eats at me like cancer. That's really all I can say about this dream, I don't remember much from my dreams,but I remember simple details... Like trying to beat my ex-step-mother with jean shorts. Odd details like that, that keep me thinking all day.

Though lately because of all these weird things happening in my life, I feel so drained. I just don't quite understand why I feel this way. There are some days I just feel so drained I'm literally unable to move. So this is why I haven' t been loyal on my exercise. I could eat the breakfast of champions or drink energy drinks all day. Either way I feel like a sack of potatoes. Maybe it's because I'm depressed again, who knows... Time will tell right?

Well I just wanted to put a couple things out there. I didn't want it to be super long or anything. Well hopefully when I can stop feeling like a sloth, maybe I'll go to the gym :D

VogueXTC

Oh wow well so much for every couple of weeks, and as you can imagine my awesome workout plan has now shattered to pieces. Though I will explain why this has come to be in a later paragraph. I'd like to talk a little about some things that have occupied my mind of recent. Basically all my feelings wrapped up in a little present and given to those of you who read this. In the past almost 2 years that I have been writing this blog, I have gone off on several aspects on my life. Some completely pointless, others about things that are important. Today I would like to go over something important. I don't do this opening up thing very often, but I will attempt it today.

So starting off I've been having some really odd dreams for the past 2 weeks. For me I typically have nightmares every single night. For some reason though I'm just having really odd dreams. I really do not want to go off on a tangent with specifics, but the main character tends to be someone I'm familiar with and eats at me like cancer. That's really all I can say about this dream, I don't remember much from my dreams,but I remember simple details... Like trying to beat my ex-step-mother with jean shorts. Odd details like that, that keep me thinking all day.

Though lately because of all these weird things happening in my life, I feel so drained. I just don't quite understand why I feel this way. There are some days I just feel so drained I'm literally unable to move. So this is why I haven' t been loyal on my exercise. I could eat the breakfast of champions or drink energy drinks all day. Either way I feel like a sack of potatoes. Maybe it's because I'm depressed again, who knows... Time will tell right?

Well I just wanted to put a couple things out there. I didn't want it to be super long or anything. Well hopefully when I can stop feeling like a sloth, maybe I'll go to the gym :D

VogueXTC

[ 28 / 180 ]

So it's almost been a month since I started to do my whole weight loss thing. As I said though I'm not going to keep this updated everyday, because honestly I don't have the motivation nor the dedication to write on here everyday. I AM going to at least write every other week dependent on if I think I have a decent blog. Which I think today might be one of those "decent" blog days. Again I'm going to keep it short and try not to ramble on too much. Let's face it my random ramblings can get quite boring after a good 2 minutes.

So as stated in the title I am on day 28 of 180. To me this is a huge success because as stated above I'm not good with motivation and dedication type things. BUT, I feel I got something going on here. I've completed a month with exercising at least 6 times a week. I will admit though it's been difficult for me because there are so many things that you might think is healthy. Lets take to example your going to Applebee's for their 2 for 20 deal. On the menu you might see: Chicken Penne, Ribs, Chicken Tenders, Chicken Bruschetta, Fiesta Chicken, etc. You are now thinking that the Chicken Penne, Chicken Bruschetta, and Fiesta Chicken are probably going to be the most healthy. Though sorry to break it to you they are not... The Chicken Penne is full of carbs due to the noodles, not only that but Alfredo Sauce is made mostly of cheese and melted butter :) mmmmm That screams fat right there. Now you ask what about the Chicken? Well theres about 10 small pieces of chicken on the top that are grilled and good for you. Low in calories and what not, but are you really going to survive off of 10 small cuts of Chicken? No your not...

So trying to eat healthy for weight loss is extremely tricky. I've basically cut out eating out from my vocabulary, there is nothing healthy to eat out. Saddest thing is the most healthy thing I have found so far are the side salads on the McDonalds dollar menu... Everything else you might as well make at home.

Now there are a couple things you can do when you do want to eat something like Ice Cream. Which again is high in Calories and sugar and all sorts of fattening shit like Cream. I would suggest buying yourself some real fruit or frozen, some Yogurt, and a freezer. I like to blend that shit up and put in the freezer for frozen yogurt. Or if your absolutely lazy there is always SubZero Ice Cream or Frozen Yogurt places where you can get decent frozen yogurt for outrageous prices.

So the past 28 days I lost about 9 pounds, until I bought a electric scale then I only lost 5, but my analog scale reads different so I'm going to go with the 9 pounds. I did this mostly by working on the Elliptical for 20-30 minutes a day. Trying to workout first thing in the morning. Watching my calorie intake, and drinking again lots and lots of tea, which kinda started this whole thing.

Anyway that's really all I have for today. Maybe eventually when I start to look thinner I will put up some before and after shots :D

VogueXTC

Okay so I came here to do a normal ramble like I usually do, but today I'm honestly not feeling it. When I write it usually comes to me very quickly and I get this done in about 2-5 minutes. Today for some reason this is a process, so I think I'm going to make a quick update and keep it at that.

So I wrote last on August 15 explaining how I'm sick of being lazy and shit. Yeah it's been about 11 days... so not really 2 weeks yet, and I'm already having issues. Though I have got through those issues unlike I have done before. For me this is huge, because when I fall down, I have a tenancy to not get back up. I like to lay on the ground and wallow in my pain. Though right now that's not going to work, it hasn't worked and that's why I'm proud of myself for just moving forward with my life and not letting this get to me as bad.

I started working out that last Monday, and I will admit I haven't worked out for 30 minutes or more. I have actually been pushing myself and doing a lot more resistance training with my cardio then all the other times. Now why I started to do this was after watching a video from YouTube star Jenna Marbles. She was ranting on about how people look at her funny at the gym and what not. I'll post a link so you can just watch it yourself if you haven't seen it already:

Anyway got me thinking about the last 4 years and all my attempts of trying to become healthier and obviously skinnier, and toned. I figured well I've done all these things on no resistance... why don't I try to crank my resistance up and see how well that will go. So the past two weeks I've been running a little bit. Broke to my goal of running a quarter mile, which for me is kinda big because I have never been a distance runner. When I did run I was well known for speed and 500 meter dashes. So distance running is really difficult for me because I feel like maybe I try to push myself too much on the speed aspect. Then I also have been doing the elliptical, but instead of just going off of no resistance I've been pushing myself to 6-10 resistance. I have never worked my ass off so hard in just 12 minutes I burned 101 calories!

So in two weeks I have lost 6 pounds which is awesome. I know that not every two weeks I'll lose 6 pounds, sometimes it may be just 1 or 2. Sometimes I might not lose anything, but I know if I keep pushing and keep going I'm bound to do this and be successful. According to a weight loss calculator I should be 125 pounds by February 17, 2012. So just seeing how this is so close to my birthday makes me even more motivated. I honestly feel like this could be the best gift I could give to myself and I know I can do this!

Everyone Has to Start Somewhere... Right?

So you will never believe it... but I have had an epiphany. I assume that when people drink tea, they automatically get an epiphany. That's beside the point... Anywho I am sitting here currently drinking a Black Chai Tea, it has a nice flavor, but it isn't sweet enough. Might I add there's no cream in it, but it's still good. Now I don't want to ramble on about tea, cause honestly that is not why I came here to blog. Though tea makes for a great story right?

Well...

Before I made my nice cup of tea I actually got on a treadmill and started to exercise. Sadly, this is the first I have exercised all summer really, and I'll tell you why. This past May my great grandmother passed away. It was honestly quite shocking. This death was hard for me because this was someone that is family, but I really don't know her. You grow up watching so many shows and movies on death, and you see these people so upset because they never got to know that person like they wanted. The whole message is to spend time with those you love before they are gone. I guess for me it was one of those things that I just had to learn for myself.

So after she died I guess I just got a little depressed. I stopped exercising, I stopped doing a lot of things. I lost all motivation to do anything, I kinda lost myself. I know though deep down inside that my great grandma wouldn't want me to just mope around all day. I'm sure she would like to see me happy and do something for the better.

So continuing on to my story...

I haven't worked out in a long time. I used to run a lot as a teenager, in fact I ran A LOT. I ran at school, I ran in gym, I ran away from problems, I ran away from home. If there was one thing I was good at it was running. I also really enjoyed dancing, in fact I still enjoy it. I dance like no one is looking, which that's the only time I dance... When no one is looking. So I'd like to say I was pretty fit, always moving and looking sharp.

Though now it's not like that. I like to do nothing anymore. Literally nothing, dragging myself out of bed every morning just to find myself back in bed in about 30 mins. If I'm not in bed... I'm on the couch. I'm lazy, and I'm a little overweight. So here comes the big part:

Chapter One

MOTIVATION

When people ask me are you motivated, can you motivate yourself? I always answer yes, because I can motivate myself. The real question though is: Can you stay motivated? Now this answer is definitely a no. I start a lot of projects, and they all come out as a failed attempt. Especially if I don't continue at a regular basis. Yeah, you can expect that I'm not going to follow through. Sometimes I wonder how I made it though school, because I never made it though hair school, and most of my jobs. It's quite pathetic I will let you know.

So...

This is where the important part comes in this blog. I'm not going to force myself to write everyday, but I do want to write something at least two to four times a month. Just to keep updated. I trust that my friends and family who read this can help me follow through with this and keep me motivated. So I'm going to place some "Ground Rules":

1. Stay Positive - because I'm quite the pessimist and the world is always ending in my head. I don't know why, but it does.
2. Let People know my goals (which is what I am doing now) because what is better than having friends and family that support your goals
3. Set goals and stay motivated!

So what are my goals you ask? Well I want to lose some weight, and I would like to do this by my 21st birthday (February 8th). The reason this is my goal is because I am 20 years old, and since I was 15 I have been slightly overweight. In fact I'm going to tell a short story about myself if you haven't heard it already...

When I was 11 years old I had just barely moved to Medina Ohio and was going to be starting 6th grade. I was kinda the odd kid out because for me this was going to be my second year attending middle school because when I was in 5th grade living in North Royalton, Ohio I went to North Royalton Middle School. Strangely enough this wasn't odd in North Royalton, but in Medina 6th grade was your first year in middle school. So anyway, when I was 11 I went to A. I. Root Middle School and I developed an eating disorder. At the time I wasn't really sure why I wasn't eating, I just didn't. I realize that today I was more than likely doing it because eating was the only thing in my life that I could control. So from 2002 up until 2006 I barely ate. I was 109 pounds, frail, and honestly not healthy. I wont say that I miss being too skinny. I guess I just miss being skinny in general. In 2007 I was released from Cincinnati's Children's Hospital from the Psyche Ward. I was there due to several reasons, but while I was there I gained 21 pounds. Which made me 130. At the time I thought that was fat, but that's an anorexic mentality that I don't think will ever leave. Now I would kill to be 130 pounds. Anyway from by the end of 2007 I weighed 160 pounds. I basically gained an additional 30 pounds. To me this is extremely upsetting because all I wanted growing up was to be liked, and everyone knows that heavy girls aren't usually the popular ones.

So basically since I was 16 my weight has fluctuated between 130 and 175. Though I'm determined that I'm going to lose that weight and keep it off for good by developing a healthy lifestyle.

Also if you have read all of this, thank you. I hope that I can make this goal, and honestly I would be no where without the inspirational people in my life. I love my friends and family, and thanks for cheering me on through this all. I will keep this updated as I progress!

VogueXTC

Android OS vs iPhone iOS

So it's been about 3 days since I got my HTC Inspire 4G. Though three days to me is enough time to realize that this is not the phone for me. Now I'm not going to rant on about how Android phones are pieces of shit or how iPhone is far more superior because I honestly do not feel that way. What I will say though is my honest opinion for someone that has a love for both Apple products and Google products. I think the opinions that will be stated here in a bit are fair and to the point... So I'm going to give you a run down of why I did this experiment before I go into further detail on both products.

So as most people know Alice has been an iPhone user since late 2008. That's about 3 years of experience with iOS (obviously). As far as Android phones I've had about 3 days, but with my general knowledge of phones it's really not too difficult to pick up any phone and learn how to use it in matter of seconds. Not only that but my current job requires me to troubleshoot both devices at the least daily.

Anyway so I purchased this HTC Inspire 4G with my new 2 year upgrade from AT&T. The moment this phone fell into my hands it did possibly one of the coolest things I think any device can do... It asked me if I would like to sync my contacts from my old phone to my new phone via bluetooth. If you ask me that is something that could save any Apple user from going home and syncing with iTunes. Now syncing with iTunes is still great because everything is still right there there isn't this huge hassel of backup assistant or adding contacts one by one. Still I think the bluetooth option is one of the best I have seen yet.

Now if I go ahead and compare the cosmetic differences there really isn't much besides a few small details. The HTC Inspire is much bigger and heavier than the iPhone 4. I would have to say the display is about a tie. I know the iPhone has the Retina display which I think has a brighter and more vibrant display than the HTC's SLCD display. As far as High Resolution it's about the same. I do prefer the Retina over the SLCD...though that can be brought down to personal opinion. Another thing about the iPhone is sound quality. The iPhone has a built in equalizer as well as the HTC, but for some reason the HTC sound quality does not compare when even connected to a pair of headphones. Even with the Inspires built in Dolby Digital Technology it doesn't come close. Sound isn't as clear and I hear more treble tones in the HTC rather than with my iPhone I hear more clear tones with better bass. Another thing I really like about the HTC is the extended microSD card & the removable battery... Though to me that isn't at the top of the list I would prefer my device to do.

One of the BIG things that turned me on for the HTC was it's amazing 8mp camera vs the iPhone 4's 5mp back and 3mp front facing camera (I'm not sure if it's 3 or 1 I'm too lazy to look up at the moment). Though I learned the hard way you probably shouldn't buy a phone because the camera is better. As all photographers know megapixels don't really matter unless your an advertisement photographer. The only reason why anyone would need a higher megapixel camera is for when your enhancing an image to a very large size. Though the camera on the HTC honestly isn't that great. It offers some sort of image stylizing, but compared to the iPhones HDR it's honestly not that great.

As far as the operating system goes. Apple iOS has a great smooth running operating system. It's simple to use and it's designed to pickup and go. As far as 2.2 froyo with Android there was a lot to get used to a learn. The Inspire does not come preloaded with swype so if you like "hacking" the system to get what you want Android is defiantly for you. As far as I'm seeing I feel like Android was designed in mind for iPhone users that enjoyed jailbreaking their devices to get shitty programs that honestly don't work on your device half the time. The programs would stall the phone and sometimes make it inoperable for the rest of eternity. It's scary to think that Android isn't protected again malware unless you download antivirus. Digging deeper into the OS I hate the fact that Android updates at a constant rate. Things are always running & again that reminds me once again of a jailbroken iPhone. The problem with this constant app running in the background is not all of us run on the Verizon Network... So us stuck with 2GB plans or less have to suffer massive overage charges every month on a phone that cannot be controlled. As far as TRUE multitasking, I don't know if I haven't figured it out on the Inspire, but it's about the same as for the iPhone.

Some things I hate about the iPhone is it's incompatibility with anything other than Apple. Which yes sucks. I hate how it's not as customizable, and sometimes it gets boring having the same home screen for the rest of your life with this device. I hate how in order to use Facetime I have to run on Wi-Fi (unless you are using Skype). I also hate how this device is not upgradable to the HSPA+ network or even LTE. Which makes this device a little out dated, but honestly overall this device functions and it's perfect for me.

So ending this explanation I will be returning this HTC Inspire for a restock of 35 dollars unless I can convince AT&T otherwise & maybe hope that Apple comes out with something better here in the next couple of months.

VogueXTC